Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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