That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
