Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It's just like the Real World with babies
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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