best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
