did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
