I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize