So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
