I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
its not stalking. its research.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
