Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
