im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Drunk is a universal language darling
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
