The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I supernannyed him into submission
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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