He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
