Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
