Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
