it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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