Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
