His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize