can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
