Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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