You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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