you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sorry my hands just texted you
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You may now shotgun with the bride
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
