You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
