it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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