My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
