Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
