It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
