I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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