Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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