I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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