My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Let's get the cat blown out
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
