i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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