that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize