Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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