i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
