I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There r osticjed everywhere
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize