isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
