And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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