this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
