You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
