Screwed.edu
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
