I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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