where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
