oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
