none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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