Porn is love you can see.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
