Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
