used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
