who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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