whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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