Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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