eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
