4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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