also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
