I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
How external is "for external use only"?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
