This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
